14-Feb-2007
Sally's Seven
"Straight Girl Initiation Pitfalls"
(what may happen when you bring a gal out)
1. She falls hard. Be prepared for this. If you don’t fall in love with her, she can and will stalk you.
2. She develops "You’re the Only One Syndrome": “I’m not gay. I just love you!”
3. She blames you for making her gay. If you accept this cockamamy head trip, she may guilt you into doing things for her, like staying with her forever, or covering up the murder of her landlord.
4. Her family blames you for making her gay.
5. Her family is part of the Armenian mafia--and blames you for making her gay.
6. She takes turns between sleeping with you and sleeping with her ex-boyfriend (or husband) as a form of comparison shopping.
7. She’s really straight. The sex is bad. She uses you to make her boyfriend jealous or worse, to titillate him and add spice to their boring sex-life. You start to feel like a human sex toy. She arranges for her boyfriend to show up and watch.
