08-Sep-2006
CERTAIN LESBIANS ARE LIKE NATURAL DISASTERS…in bed. She’s a klutz, basically, but it’s hard not to wonder if she has sublimated feelings of rage, hatred, or disgust. The woman who--at the moment of orgasm-- tries to injure you by head squeezing, neck crunching, or ripping out chunks of your hair, may feel guilty about feeling rapt with pleasure--or she may be selling your curly chestnut locks to wigmakers on E-Bay. Like the ancient Chinese philosopher who once cut off his own sleeve to avoid waking his beloved kitty, as a matter of chivalry and pride, a real dyke must often sacrifice comfort to give her lady the most massive and prolonged “O” possible. On Our Backs editor Diana Cage described her own near-death experiences in Box Lunch: the layperson’s guide to cunnilingus:
“…from time to time, especially when she was nearing a really big orgasm, her pinky fingers would dig into the sides of my neck, cutting off the blood supply to my brain… . Several times she made me see stars…she was just having a really good time, totally unaware that I was about to enter the light like Carol Ann…”
Cage eventually learned to adjust her neck angle so the carotid arteries were inaccessible. Her advice for avoiding other injuries? Anticipate the problem, and restrict the movement of whatever body part becomes an unwitting weapon. Hold her hands down at her sides, secure her crushing thighs with straps, whatever it takes.
