01-Jun-2006
UNFORTUNATELY there’s no foolproof way to tell whether last night’s hot cyberlingus session was with a real-live dyke or a balding 55-year-old Mormon male senator.
“When I was on tour, I met this Mormon couple. The woman seemed very bi-curious. She was also very hot. We flirted a lot and when I got back home we started e-mailing. One time we IM'ed for an hour, talking about how she might be able to have a few experiences with women while still being respectful of her husband’s feelings. I introduced some nasty talk. We basically had cybersex.
She kept saying...wow, this is all so new to me being that I'm Mormon. Well, the next day she sent me an e-mail. She said she had something to tell me and was very embarrassed. It turned out I wasn't e-mailing her at all but her husband. I didn't believe her at first, but then the husband e-mailed me and told me he was very sorry and what he did was wrong. He also said I helped him deal with his feelings of inadequacy regarding his wife's sexuality and my advice helped him a lot. It didn't help enough however, because three weeks later they decided to get a divorce. The Mormon woman is now in a relationship with another woman.”—Bett Williams
The preponderance of horny men in cyberland has led to a frenzy of dyke paranoia in which nobody trusts anyone. Roberta G. complained that no matter how many times she tried to attempt cybersex in a lesbian chat room, she found herself repeatedly accused of being a man. “It was very disheartening,” she said. “I kind of started to doubt my whole gender identity. I finally just gave up and forgot about it.”
